i just shit an entire soup salad and breadsticks from the olive garden... bud light wins again.
My parents foreign exchange student just walked in on me whacking off. Welcome to America :)
Gay TA. Finally going to boost my GPA your way.
She carries her pencils in a crown royal bag... Need I say more?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Apple trackpads and semen don't mix. On the way to the Apple Store.
Nothing like puking into an empty cooler at a red light on the way to get plan b.
nothing like a cross blunt to celebrate the birth of our savior
I sold him an eighth while trippin balls wearin my girlfriends tutu and tube top. and i was talking about albinos the entire time
well, he defiantly picked the right guy to buy drugs from
When you get home...find me in the shower. Only safe place at the moment.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
hes like bread. how could bread be dangeous
We got a standing ovation as security was escorting us out of the ballpark, it was a proud moment
A woman with Alzheimer's pointed at me and said, "Don't forget to wear socks, because you're a lady!" I think it's legit advice.
They wouldn't let me on the bull because I couldn't even sign my own name... She let me try 3 times...
Holy shit my cat won't leave the lube alone
I melted cheese on my pizza rolls. When I die make sure someone melts cheese on my rolls.
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