in the practice room. just found 3 bottles of smirnoff hidden inside the piano. SO glad i didn't get into berklee...
I threw up into my coffee this morning.
I just remembered yelling "they're gonna let me be a lawyer! Me! Why would they do that?"
No flights in Europe due to the volcano erupting. God himself is telling me to spend 4.20 in Amsterdam.
I don't know where Tiffany is but I just saw her shoes in the bar lost and found
I just found a list in your handwriting titled "Places I've Peed." The National Mall and 'under the second bridge after the bend in the road' are two of the tamer entries. I tip my hat.
If I had a penis, I'd want to put it in you. And I'd treat you with respect and pay for your drinks.
I can now recognize that when my wine bottle reaches a certain point, I probably shouldn't tweet, text or call anyone. RESPONSIBILITY
I need to be put in a corner surrounded by pamphlets of stds and babies
Can my mom come with to the bar? Prince just died and I feel like I need to take her out to cheer her up.
We are best friends because we can vomit simultaneously in the same toilet and not care
I'm pretty sure I naked in my first year of college more than I was as a baby.
as a self proclaimed hoe im ok with a lotta things but that is not fucking one of them
Her tits are so fantastic they gave him a panic attack.
& I came downstairs to find my whole family discussing the fact that I have a vibrator, which my mom found accidentally....
Randomize
