i feel like arbor mist is too classy for that. you need a colt 45
Yeah you're right. The one time when arbor mist is too classy
what kind of dress can i wear to my high school reunion that says "even though i'm more successful than all of you i'm still up for sex"?
He was really drunk and I dared him to jump the swimming pool on his bike. Sadly he couldn't. Hey did you know a testicle can burst?
I just remembered I gave $20 to a bum last nite. Philanthropy events always make me do stupid shit.
when she said she was from California you started sobbing. You begged her not to melt your popsicle because you paid good money for it and you just wanted to eat it in peace.
Just think, this time last Cinco de Mayo you were holding me up and finding me passed out in the yard of that house.
If people don't want my drunken phone call then TAKE YOUR FUCKING NUMER OFF OF FACEBOOK, like it's just that easy...
I have no idea. I think this is what happens when people take drugs in the middle of the day
I started blowing him in North Dakota, and I finished the job in Minnesota. Oh, the places road head can take you.
I'm about to start putting my tampons in the microwave for a few seconds these plastics applicators and this weather don't mix
Come through the front door when you get here.
Right now I'm so wasted I can't determine whats a door and a window.
Apparently I yelled "Spring Break 1984" at a drunk couple fighting on the side of the road.
Flatmate got laid for the first time in 3 years. I'm baking a cake.
We just fucked each other sober. #goteam
ya figured it'd be nice to explore the mythical world of sober sex i've heard so much about
i've often wondered how it works
Randomize
