oh great. the only prospects for sex left for the night are douchebag in the ed hardy shirt & frodo-looking ass
fuck it... i'll be the lord of his rings
We'll cross that bridge when we come to it... Or burn it. Either way we'll deal with it later
If u were an xman, what would ur power be? I would shoot lasers from my boobs.
I know eh? If a man wants to pay 7 bucks to see some boobies he should be allowed to do so in peace.
Thanks for talking me down from peeing on his window last night.
I am now curious as to how you would have aimed.
It's one of the many facets of my drunken alter egos. I'm like substance abuse batman.
You started a dance party so that you could steal their vodka and shouted "sailors out!"
Currently emptying half-full wine bottles from fridge into my mouth and refilling with water for later. Drunk survivalist recycling!
Yeah play it cool maybe put in a kissy face though let him know you're giving an invitation for his dick
I just put on my phone calendar to remind me of my final child support payment in 2029
The only things in my fridge are almond milk, Smirnoff Ice and chicken noodle soup. I'd say I've done mama proud.
How many ballsacks did you see last night because I saw eight
I just used my dick as to measure where my desk would go because I don't have a tape measure or a ruler.
I think I'm still high. And I definitely still smell like lobster, so there's that
I'll be honest, this year's Vegas trip will be nothing short of disappointing if there's no repeat of the angry ménage a trios in a closet.
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