Dude we got so high last night. I said "watch this" threw a goldfish cracker in the toilet, and laughed my ass off. We watched the dvd menu for 30 minutes too.
it was just fiscally responsible to stop going to strip clubs where the strippers recognized me
apparently drunk me likes to play hide the puke.. was not a fun time washing all my legos.
hey dont come home for a while, moms drunk and is telling the story of 'how she met dad at that orgy' again
i drank out of my shoe...were you seriously expecting me to be the voice of reason?
Also on a more serious note, what says pull my hair more: straight or soft curls?
Chasing shots by shotgunning beers is not a good idea.
Welcome to the south, dude. Gives the phrase "I wish you a dry ass" a new perspective.
tell me why they applauded then the bartender locked himself in the bathroom when i walked into the bar today ????
Also, upon examining the photos, I have concluded that you were the sloppiest drunk girl of the night. And that's saying something considering Hurricane Jessica was in town.
I started blowing him in North Dakota, and I finished the job in Minnesota. Oh, the places road head can take you.
It sounds like drunken magic sprinkled w narcotics
She's high and running across rooftops. Yes we're going to end up in A&E again.
You gave your one night stand my number. I told him you left for your sex change an hour ago.
I don't think I'm ever gonna need a boyfriend again. I have a body pillow, a vibrator, and I'm strong enough to open my own jars.
Randomize
