Omg I def was not. I wasn't that drunk. I showed that I stuff my bra but I didn't whip my tit out.
Uhh me and Jacque peed on the street outside the bar last night and wiped with flowers. I vaguely remember her repeating the word "fresh" over and over.
don't you miss dr. quinn: medicine woman? i do.
we bought a duck. we're keeping him in our dorm room. don't ever try to tell me you've had a better freshman year than me.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
The bank teller laughed at me....I'm apparently that fucking hungover looking
All I wanted was my $85. Judgement free. But nooooo
You're just horny.
Yea, and? I appreciate you as a person too if that helps.
I did sing regulators with a random black dude at The Rail without looking at the screen, hugged him and walked off stage. I pretty much live up to all expectations.
Haha I haven't even had my interview yet and I'm already trying to fuck my way to the top. 'Merica.
Is he the circus guy or the bi-curious street preacher?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Yeah, first date. First take a pic of him to circulate around for your friends and than have him fill out a short penis questionnaire. Seems completely legit to me.
I mean, the night I fell out of that bus I made you pour vodka onto my wound to clean it, then duct taped a paper towel to my hand and kept drinking.
If anybody had to puke on my shoes, I'm glad it was you.
Charles Manson is Getting Married and I stare down at my tits and wonder how I am possibly single.
found my cat trying to steal a lighter to hide away for himself. cat what are you doing. don't pocket my lighter.
I just sharted for the first time in my life. Age 33. Lying in bed. Sober. 2021 is off to a great start!
Randomize