We're pretty sure the 'pocket' aspect of the hot pocket is unnecessary. Testing our theory now.
it was like eating out sand paper
I got a bikini wax for the first time today and I think I now understand feminism.
she keeps giving me cups of everbeer.. its everclear and beer mixed. i guess its blackout or backout time
these girls were driving down the road screaming "SHOT!!" out the windows and pelting potatoes at passerby.
i got hit in the ear.
He compliments me like a gay guy and fucks me like a starved nympho. I'm in love.
I think for all the guys in my phone, I'm going to change their pictures to pics of their dicks. It's easier to identify them that way.
It was awesome explaining why I had a tiger with boxers in my bed, a little bit drunk, to a girl in a pre-sex moment
Everything sucks i just wanna cry and smoke a bowl and pet my cat and die. All at the same time
You know you are 86'd from the legacy right? You can't down shots then spike the shot glass
I'm high and dancing to practical magic. Your needs for my penis can wait.
I feel like your dick pick is everywhere. Never have I needed to be so careful when posting pictures.
He used pronouns for his penis while sexting. I don't know what I did to deserve this.
woke up to my little sister's best-friend's boyfriend in my bed, but how's your saturday going?
the police dropped me off. that's how my night went.
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