Yeah i mean there's 3 guys fighting over me. It would just be bitchy of me not to get with at least 1.
like if they didnt have tits and vagina, they have no idea how uninteresting to us they would be
Tbell employee was shuffling through my bag, calling off each item i ordered to make sure it was all there. I stopped him halfway through with "guy, don't worry, I'm high as shit, I'll eat anything."
Just took a celebratory "i havent slept with anyone in this bar" shot. yesssss....
You're surprisingly coherent for someone who thinks her couch is breathing.
I'm naked in the window of the hotel and I feel like I'm walking in slow motion like a robot
he suggested we do it doggy style cuz it was his dead dogs birthday...i had to do it
This lumberjack with a huge beard is doing his group presentation in a dirty t shirt that says "I'm only 2 girls short of a threesome"
I'm having flashbacks from last night. Did I admit to pausing Whitney's funeral because I was watching porn? I believe I did.
there is nothing ok with the fact that that was the 4th time i peed in the same parking ramp
She said to me, without hesitation, "make me an offer better than my sugar daddy and I'll go with you"
You know you've been having sex for 9 months when you do Rock Paper Scissors for who has to go on top
It was like if the scent of sour milk and burning tires had a baby in taste form.
You were filing your nipples with a nail file to "make them sharper"
I just got fed by 3 guys. I love my job.
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