She's never had brie before last night, don't know if I can date a girl that doesn't like soft cheeses.
I mean we're not committed. He's my first choice, sort of like miller lite. When I'm at the bar I'm going to order one, but if they don't maybe I'll go for a bud or blue moon. I'm certainly not going to stop drinking
The musician playing at the bar just puked inside his acoustic guitar, then sang an encore performance. I love Louisa!!!!
his semen tasted like maple syrup. no wonder fat girls always wanna fuck him.
Just bought all my wine for the weekend with a check at 11am. I'm almost judging myself.
she was stripping to whiskey lullaby. most depressed boner.
Close your eyes and stop texting and think about puppies. You'll be fine.
I hope in my next life I'm a sterile trophy wife. With a husband who showers me in wealth and gifts but can't get a hard on. Do you think my karma is good enough for that?
I broke the girls bed. I will not apologize about bragging.
All I know is that I'm not gonna send out SOS messages via twitter for your rescue this time.
Irrelevant. Does he have queso? That's the real question.
It gives me purpose in life to help fulfill nerdy fantasies. Like I'm doing something good for mankind and having multiple orgasms in the process.
It is officially settled in my mind that fuck the hot grad student is THE goal this year
Is it too far to say to someone "you're useless for everything besides sex"
Wow. Ok who would waste Game 7 ticket on kids?!
Poor parenting at its best
Randomize
