census says that i am hotter than the girl you just left with...sad for you
i woke up to 115 texts from him all saying "do you love me??"
I could give you a full detailed description of 75% of the penises in that room
You text me last night that you invented a new food. Cheese-less grilled cheese. Congrats, you made toast.
I'm starting to blur the boundary between reasonable senioritis and self-destruction. Somewhat-openly hittin the flask in 11am class
Can you explain to me later why there's a pirate hat in my bathtub
why is my forehead so bruised?
i found you outside knocking on the door with your head because you couldn't lift your arms.
His personality is sparkling but nothing beats his ass
So high I started crying because I was proud of Snoop Dogg for becoming Snoop Lion
Also, they sell weed-chocolate covered strawberries. For the romantic stoner.
That was one of the best texts I got today
Been awake for 50 some odd hours. I've discovered I can spew out maaaad papers whilst coked out of my face. My roommates probably think I'm dead. Money well spent. You?
He will forever be known as the toe sucker who may or may not have been a father
I'm constantly crying, and now I start crying every time I masturbate which is a fun development.
Come over I need help. I just almost died in an acid flashback while listening to do You Feel Like We Do off of the Frampton Comes Alive album.
The only good thing about being back at work is supply room boom boom with my office husband
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