we're blogging at a bar
wooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooo
ooooooooooooo i'm drink
I almost hooked up with this girl last night. she had a tattoo of a cardinal next to her cooter. said it reminded her of her grandpa
You have to stop getting hammered and preaching about that mission trip to Haiti.
my wrists were so small for the handcuffs, i could slip them off and hand the tow truck driver my keys....
I just pulled a handful of rice out of my pocket.
You were Q-tipping mashed potatoes out of your ear.
she's a kindergarten teacher now. The teacher desks are the perfect height for fucking. I'm delaying the break up a few weeks.
No. And Marissa said shitting in the handicap bathroom at work does not get you into the club. You have to shit yourself. She said.
Dude so coolest charity idea ever, think aids walk but instead of miles you drink beers oh the possibilities
My walk of shame this morning would have been much less obvious if it hadn't been 6:30 in the morning and I wasn't walking through downtown Nashville in a Steeler jersey.
She looked up at the menu and yelled this is my absolute favorite literacy
Yeah i'd say someone being in the room while you're doing someone makes them eligible for fb friendship
He looked at me like he knew me, and I looked at him like I had seen his penis before.
Your trash is full of condoms and yoohoos what a great life we live
Randomize
