And my dad told him he was a great looking guy. and then added "no homo" after.
Managed to convince my mom that I had been home for 3 hours sleeping on the couch downstairs and this t-shirt was your dads. I am SUCH a fucking boss.
I don't know. I woke up in the back of a cab in a drive thru line at whataburger with police lights flashing and my friend yelling" you didn't have to sell us out phil!" to the cab driver.
Hahahaha you would not believe what I just pulled out of my vagina. Actually you probably wouldn't be surprised.
Im just a social blackout drinker.
RA just said I set the all time record for a student who lost houseing..30min..I was moveing out while my new roomate was moveing in. know of any off campous places to stay??
My life is like a drunken tornado. All over the place and never passing up fat girls
I don't miss having sex with him. We had our finale fuck last week. He's all yours now.
If you need to be the damsel in drunken distress make sure it's before 3.
I woke up in a toga after going to a Hawaiian party. I don't even know.
I'm too stoned to come over for sex
Yes that is a Krispy Kreme doughnut on my cock
I'll be right over
This drunk girl kept yelling for water so I dipped a cup in the toilet and gave it to her. She was thanking me all night.
Try to fuck my roomie AND steal my slippers: you are no longer my favorite cousin.
At least get laid and waffle fries out of it you whipped basterd
Have you ever gotten such awesome underwear you wish you didnt have to wear pants?
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