I can't believe you blew on her face.
I feel that every long term relationship needs at least one big,load delivered straight between the eyes.
turns out the website for Dick's Sporting goods is not "dicks.com". It was a win either way.
Getting up at 8 this morning to drink could be the best and the worst idea we've ever had
im dirt poor will suck dick for halloween costume
He told me he was ok to drive home. Then I found him face-planted in the parking lot.
how does a 20 year old who hasnt gone through puberty yet score the game winning goal? fuck sidney crosby and his small nuts.
Fuck, now I'm not only the other woman, but the pregnant one
He asked me why my bellybutton was so ugly... and wondered why i wasnt in the mood anymore.
I can't make Walk of Shame Wednesdays a recurring theme.
It wasn't until like 4 and when we got off the phone you said god was summoning you back into the bar
She tackled him mid-puke while the other two were cutting up a $60 dildo with a kitchen knife and putting the pieces in a Corona bottle.
My goal for the weekend: procure a blowjob using only stern glances, hand gestures, and crudely-drawn stick figures.
Woke up this morning with Nerf Bullets stuck to everything in my house and nut in my belly button. What exactly happened last night?
Family trip though. I generally don't wheel too much ass with the fam in tow. Despite the fact my parents would be pleased if I did.
remember that party we went to sophomore year where we found that girl and had the orgy? Im totally at that house right now.
Randomize
