No it only became awkward when she walked in with her new boyfriend and we realized we'd all banged her
he asked me to marry him on one of those scrolling message belt buckels.... what now?
The line was so long at Kum n Go some guy opened & drank 2 beers from his 12 pack while waiting.
I woke up, not remembering how or when or why i was even there and looked over to find Steph spooning with an adult black man.
so does the 200 for rent and 150 for utilities include the never telling my boyfriend about the guys i bring home.. or is that extra?
You're either a hooker or Beyonce. Beyonce is abnormally good at doing everything in heels
Nothing bad can happen when you have a kiwi flavored condom. Absolutely nothing.
Found a grenade pin. Still no Dave.
The cops just came to this party I'm at and ate all of our snacks
Dude just crushed our bbq lays and told us to quiet down
What exactly do I say to a random stoner hookup to thank him for ending my dry spell? Is it awkward to just say "Thanks for that. It was well needed."
I need a life alert for his random dick pics. My heart can't handle that.
I just came rly close to telling a dude that I want to chew on him and there should be an oil painting of his ass up in the louvre before I realized that isn't how flirting is supposed to go
Just got home, my brothers stoned and he got a high score on COD.. He just asked me if I wanted to have a celebrational yogurt with him. Wtf?
They gave me 4 meds at the health center and said not to take alcohol with any of them. Guess ill wait until tomorrow to feel better.
I woke up with your bra on, and some guys boxers. I'm in a random truck, in the middle of nowhere...
Randomize
