Hello Stephanie, you need to come pick me up at Par Blvrd correctional facility and bring $750-$1000 for bail. I just got a DUI. Thank you.
What!?!?! How are you txting?!
Because this is Officer Reynolds, and I just arrested your boyfriend.
this is amy. the small petlike person from the womens bathroom at the reef.
its not facebook stalking, its market reasearch
a lady just got escorted out of the bar because she came in carrying a can of gasoline while smoking a cigarette....this place is the definition of class
I want to get laid tonight but my sheets haven't been washed since vomiting in them on Halloween :(
Tonight's Real World episode reinforced the well-known fact that men of any caliber can hook up with girls named "Crystal"
how many americans can say they have been laid before eating their first big mac?
If it makes you feel any better... I have a friend who found out her mom was in the video for 2 Live Crew's "Pop That Pussy"
All I want is to get as high as I did that time I started hallucinating that my brother was becoming a monkey and I saw my mum on every surface of your room.
I'm too old for chlamydia. That's for 20 year olds who go to clubs and do drugs I've never heard of.
He tried to introduce me to one of his friends that kept looking at me and I said "OH NO! I can't do this shit anymore!!" It was like I had a vision of what drunk me would've done in about 20 minutes.
I've orgasmed so many times tonight I think I've become enlightened
Is there one of me peeing? If so do I look bangable in it
Celebrated Veteran's Day by getting a Marine (who just got back from deployment in the middle east) drunk and laid for the first time in 6 months. #Murica
The best part of being a lesbian? If I'm late for work at a hookup's place I can use her make up and peace out. Well and all the sex of course.
Randomize
