I'll start drinking again when I know where I am
just saw a girl who had one of those monogrammed backpacks... her initials are VAG. is this a sign?
It was literally like being eaten out by a dog. That bad.
yo your bro wants to know what time he got home and were you hosing him off
All i remember is Liz dragging me home yelling at me, crying, and barfing
I just yelled at a bunch of girl scouts for yelling "cookies" to loudly. That hungover
we got her to the bathroom intime. all she could say was 'now my bladder is empty just like my soul'
Dad got stoned the other day and bought us potty training seats for when we have children
To the point, I hope I remember where to put my dick when I finally get laid again
You have a 50 50 chance
Yeah, it was all very half-hearted. In the middle of sex we both just stopped and looked at each other and said, "can we just sleep instead?"
That is so sad.
This is seriously fucking awkward. My favorite sex scene just started and my dad's still here. He offered me Cheetos.
There's nothing like when u really click with a stripper
There comes a point where there's just condoms and old mcdonalds in your garbage can and you can't tell if you've won or lost.
dude, shes trippin so bad. idk what shes on, she just told me she doesnt remember her name then proceeded to get in the shower clothed to try to "rinse off the high"
I watched a compilation video today of a guy banging his sex doll to edm music. I just had to tell someone.
Randomize
