Are you with Adam and his vodka?
Yeswdsssss I masde his pickle gi away ans he go anbnoued
What a tease, dude. She's giving me emotional blue balls.
I pretty much just threw a bunch of clothes and my vodka in a bag..idk where I'm gonna end up tonight but I'm prepared.
im almost positive that in mid thrust she told me she was pro choice
I cant believe you went home with her.. Your poor immune system and the shit you put it through.
Let's just rave with boners that last for hours
Meeting girls and telling em you have no hair on your calves is not an acceptable pick up line
Ugh. I guess I'm crying loudly or something. My mom just came in and gave me milk, chocolate, a Xanax, and her weed "for the break up blues". Her ways of affection are so odd.
She bought my penis dinner and beer last night. Her words
Why is your solution always to masturbate
Because it usually works
It's funny because every time I go up and down the stairs it's an adventure. A A DRUNK ADVENTURE. PS I ALREADY THREW UP WTF
he has the ass of a greek god and he made me breakfast
We drove through Taco-Bell on our way to the ER
If a cop comes up to me I'm whipping out my cock, swinging it around and singing the national anthem
I am sweating Crown. It all went wrong when the ratio hit 50-50
Randomize
