'hiiiigh' is saved in my t9 for a reason
I'm trying to bond with my sister... Its like getting to know a person I never met that I don't like
I love how adderall is equivalent to money on a college campus. just got a ride home and paid the driver in adderall...yeeah buddy
you threw up in the bushes next to the ABC store and kept saying "you're home, blueberry vodka, you're home!"
woke up next to her writing my name in some journal. apparently she makes every guy she hooks up with sign out.
Don't blame the cocaine for your eating disorder.
You left me with no money to have random Chicago sex. The least you can do is pick me up an egg mcmuffin on your walk of shame back to the hotel.
i got two bottles of merlot and sorrows to drown, you in??
You grinded on me in Jimmy johns to a madonna song.
Who are these men, what are we doing here, how is this helping us toward our goals of sex and pasta? Things to consider.
How am I feeling this morning? Well, besides the fact that my vagina looks like a pair of giraffe's lips and I'm walking like an over-confident cowgirl, I'm fantastic. Thanks for your concern.
You will go out on a boat of flames filled with honor, sarcasm, and assholery, let me assure you.
Never in my life did I dream that I would meet and NFL linesman, let alone that he would be standing before me dressed as a Roman centurion and asking for Vaseline.
If I had a vagina, my apartment would have been the Atlantic
We had everything under control until this one jackass fucked up. Thanks, Peter.
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