Well the candle wax mightve been sexy if he didn't drop the candle and light half my bed on fire
dude. late night with jimmy fallon isnt even funny. the people in the audience there to see him dont even think hes funny.
kinda like you and your friends.
you were carrying around a glass of vodka telling everyone it was Russian water
Aaaand my life has been reduced to whether I can reach to flush my puke down the toilet using my foot. The answer is yes.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
My prof gave me extra credit for drawing a ninja on my paper and writing "ninja will up my grade"
I don't know what to be prouder of: the fact that last night i was able to successfully find my way home from evanston with 3-d glasses on, or that i was able to make my way around my house in the dark with my pants around my ankles
I took the weekend off because he and I were supposed to go to Vegas for our anniversary and get a hooker remember?
Ah, yes. Who says romance is dead?
Can we just talk about how awesome I am. I just slept with a new guy while listening to the previous guys bands cd.
The amount of knuckle children I've had to the Farrah Abraham sex tape is disturbing and impressive
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Someone came into our hotel room and took our remote
What should I do?
Meanwhile I'm googling glory holes in Vegas
well I didn't shave for the hot dilf I banged last week so I'm sure as hell not shaving for you. Sry
Did I, at any point last night, say I was dying?
Over 14,000 people at my school and the kid I went home with last night is IN MY FUCKING LECTURE
So much for no-infidelity-fridays....
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