Why do you have Season One of Reba in your underwear drawer?
Why are you in my underwear drawer?
No it wasn't her, this girl had both hands.
i'm dressed up like the coppertone baby and being hit on a guy in a monk costume. the irony is not lost on me.
can't believe I ate straight coffee grounds to stay awake for that
Pretending to care about her feelings is becoming a full time job
While at warped tour today a girl was crowd surfing and her vagina landed in my face, I call that a successfull day.
I'm thankful she wil die Alone. And I'm thankful I slept wiht her cousin. And brother.
No clues in my phone. Only dialed call: my own social security number. And that was before 10:00pm.
She called him at 5 AM so that he'd be ready for her birthday breakfast and drinks at 6. This is why people don't need to wait until their 21st to have their first drink.
On the way home she put on a necklace with her name on it and wrote my name in sharpie across my chest so that in the morning we could avoid the awkward Idk who the fuck you are conversation. Best. Girl. Ever.
the intervention consisted of my aunt taking me to chuck-e-cheezs and telling me that this was my future - either as a mom or as a waitress - unless i stopped fucking around.
did she buy you pizza?
All I know is that your reaction after this date with him was "I think I did cocaine" so I'm sold on this boy
I LEAVE YOU TWO ALONE FOR 45 MINUTES AND ALL MY WHIPPED CREAM AND CONDOMS ARE GONE
I'm starting a point system. For every 2 beer runs i do for u slackers i get a free bottle of Barefoot.
We free pour in this house. Measuring alcohol is for the weak
Randomize
