I wish I had more reasons to start sentences with the phrase, "Here's the thing you've got to remember about cougars ...
Gentlemen...shes not going to tie her self to the table...
I cannot believe you needed a note to remind yourself to ask me about the fourteen sleeping Mexicans.
i'm at the gym and so are four guys who have seen my tits. i need winter break.
Clearly I made an impression.
Or at least your vagina did.
i'm drinking with a bunch of phds, i feel very stupid but good about my drinking abilities
I think I just saw my 8th grade band teacher trying to pick up a hooker
my post shower fart this morning sounded like hulk ripping through a phonebook
I'd rather just be alone, than deal with this bullshit. I just want to be alone. Cats and vibrators never let you down.
Unfortunately hes not a hipster douchebag with no life goals, so naturally I'm not interested.
The cop left me alone after I gave her my spare snow cone. It was a hot and humid day and that uniform looked stuffy. Yay stoner me for overindulging in icy treats.
Pretty sure my first birthday present will be a pic of an 18-year-old's cock. And I am OK with that
my life is turning into trapped in the closet at way too fast a speed for me to feel comfortable.
Blueberry probiotics greatly increase to the masturbation experience. Try it dude. It’s all the rage
we live vicariously through your huge boobs
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