I hope you fall in a pool of honey in an immensely populated region of bears.
I mean we're not committed. He's my first choice, sort of like miller lite. When I'm at the bar I'm going to order one, but if they don't maybe I'll go for a bud or blue moon. I'm certainly not going to stop drinking
so how do you plan on seducing my econ TA?
by telling him that he has a large supply and that i demand it...in my mouth. it shows him that i'm slutty and that i pay attention in econ
So I cleaned the toilet last night at 2 am and woke up with pink eye. Never doing that again.
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whiskey dick. though we did manage to break my closet door and flood the bathroom.
He went all Bachlorette on me.. "I just want to guard and protect your heart" bullshit
Just had a guy dressed only in a towel ask me for a cig, hug me and kiss me then proceeded to pee of the balcony while still talking to me and callin me baby
We dropped so many bottles they would only give us plastic cups. We actually drank ourselves back to preschool.
Have you ever stopped and thought "I do NOT want to be inside of this person right now. Or ever." Because you should.
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I can not say for certain that I did not blow someone in the bathroom at the bar at some point.
I honestly feel really bad for any girl with a period that lasts more than a day
Everything about that text makes me want to throttle you and cry
He lives in a tent in my ex'd backyard. Why the fuck would you want any of that dirty dick?
You claimed that someone else had vomited underneath you/on your hand
you were very insulted that we didn’t believe you that someone else vommed
He's here walking around DRUNK AS FUCK in a Kobe Bryant number 8 jersey... Tucked in.
Weird. And pubic lice are now endangered so your hairy balls can rest easy
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