I un-blacked out around 7am watching J.lo videos on youtube
I just woke up covered In blood, I have cuts all over my body, I can't find my clothes from last night, I'm still wasted, i'm pretty sure I have a sprained ankle, and the best part is, I have absolutely no recollection of what led to this. THAT'S why vodka is the greatest drink in the world.
you said the mailboxes were turning into babies and they started crawling away. then you cried and asked me how you were gonna get your college acceptance letters
from now on when you get up to pee in the middle of the night, check to see if im sleeping in your parking lot.
i do.
Well I pulled a muscle in my leg dancing in the tanning booth drunk at 1 pm soooo there's that
I have invented a new sport: freshman-watching. I'm sitting on our porch literally dying watching the freshmen run around trying to find parties
Are we playing "how much awkwardness can we fit in the final 29 hours of 2011"?
yes yes we are. Go do something with super glue. i don't want to win.
Posting happy birthday to my grandpa on Facebook.... Then realizing my profile pic is me dressed as a slutty cop when he used to be a police officer.
Apparently I'm a "fire hazard"
She kissed me, then said "mmm your face tastes like it needs my pussy on it."
Vodka, rum, moonshine, I don't care, just bring like 5gallons.
my liver is dry heaving
So, I found your eyebrow, someone glued it in between my eyebrows so I looked like I had a unibrow when I went to work...
Etiquette question... How do you tell your mother that her nipple is out in her fb profile picture?
please don't ironically join a cult
Randomize
