I wish costco sold astroglide.
i wish my brain was less awake, and didn't try and picture what you were talking about.
Pot didnt help. Now Im even sadder but now im afraid of the clouds and the crickets.
you were chalanging people to drink the "worlds biggest jager bomb" - a VASE of Redbull and a PINT of Jager... is it no wonder you dont remember anything?
omg kevin jonas gave his bride a glass slipper..could he be any gayer then he is now
he is so gay. he makes clay aiken look straight. what is wrong with the lady that married him? kevin must be envious of her balls
ive got a scarf tied around my face holding bags of hashbrowns to it, im too boss to care
im afraid if i stop breathing i will turn into a porcupine
I have family pictures in an hour and a half and I'm 9 beers deep. This is how I get written out of my grandparents will...
That feels better than graduating college or that time I tried to ride a llama. Did you know they really spit?
Cockoligist
Yes, one may refer to me as that.
I should make business cards.
I plan on having so much gay sex in our house while you gone.
Sorry, fell into some ass. Call you tomorrow.
Can you bring me the toilet please
He just ranted to some customer about fourth of July being ruined and I just shouted USA the whole time in the background. It was kinda epic
Oh you know, we just bobbed for apples in a bucket full of jungle juice. So, a casual Tuesday night.
never let me tell the bartender to cut me off, i basically told on myself
Randomize
