Would it be weird if I brought slabs of bacon with me to the beach?
The duggars are the reason premarital sex is ok. Because if you don't have it until marriage you have no self control when it happens. And 19 kids.
I think drunk me is telling hungover me something... I just have to crack the code.
The size of her hoop earrings are directly related to how much of a slut she is.
gay flight attendant. racoons. kegels. bartender with missing teeth. too many birthdays. fucckk.
If you didn't damage your room so much from fucking so hard we would have got more of our security deposit back
I resent that
Once he blows his load, he's more of an immediate flight risk than that jetBlue pilot. He's out the door before his cum is out of my vajayjay.
I just rolled an Obama blunt and a Romney shame joint for tonight. Vote wisely.
He recreated the night that started all my mothers days. We shared a joint, drank Boones Farm, and dry humped to the Beastie Boys. Then I cried over MCA's death. Best. Gift. Ever.
I asked to see his balls for medical purposes.
I had to google some of the kinky sex shit she was telling me she was into.
If that is not a reason to propose to her then I don't know what is
You gotta come over now. He is eating cupcakes while they are still in the foil.
He dropped some cash when he got in my front seat upside down. And a hat. I'm keeping them as retribution for not remembering that he had sex with me once before. Although, if he didn't have his dick pierced, I wouldn't have remembered either.
I’m literally lecturing this class on professionalism, while my body is undoubtably covered in leftover cum from last night. I’m a fucking role model.
Cmon. I wasn't that bad.
You stumbled ass first into the litter box, and everytime we tried to get you to move you said " if I fits. I sits."
Randomize
