Lol i'z typing this with my 962 nose
962=my?
Yeah.i
and im sitting here waiting for them to work on my car. in a room full of men. that are too old for me. its like a sausage fest nightmare...
i chipped my tooth tryin to cut thru her pantyhose. that stuff is bulletproof.
She just took off her shirt and jumped in the kiddie pool. We're not leaving.
we have 69 mutual friends...i have to add her
Give me a few hours to remember what being sober feels like.
And with me just getting pulled over and you maxing your card out on tennis balls I don't know if we can afford it
I WILL BE THE BEST FICTITIONAL HISTORICAL FIGURE FOR THE FEMENIST MOVEMENT THE WORLD HAS EVER SEEN
I'm beer bonging chocolate fondue. That's how my Valentines Day is going.
Her rack rivals that of the deer I shot last season. You need to get after that.
Do you hit a new low in life when you have to carry around a puke bag in your purse when you're hungover?
I want Walter White to make me a bologna sandwich while I'm chained to a support
You told me you were with a dog dressed as a taco, and it was the only one you trusted
My boss want to throw me an everclear birthday.
I wasn’t trying to be creepy it just happened
I’m beginning to think that’s your defining personality trait.
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