im at the bar and i misjudged a fart...go home or ride the night out?Never mind, the bouncer made the decision for me...be home soon
Would you rather have a 10 inch but pencil thin penis or a 2 inch very fat one?
Fat, it's not about touching the bottom it's about raising hell of the sides.
Just chased the kids into the backyard with kitchen knives. Best. Babysitters. Ever.
her teeth looked like a whores toenails, i was too horrified to
My workout was carrying 2 cases home from the grocery. It's Bowl Week.
His facebook interests include 'unstrapping velcro'.
He dated me before I started drinking. I feel like he deserves a consolation bj for all the effort he had to put in to get in my pants.
Tinkerbell just flew up to me and tickled my balls. What the fuck did we smoke?
You were throwing up and said, "Whipe my face, I must look presentable at all times."
My parents don't seem to understand that all I want to do over break is smoke in bed and watch Workaholics.
Have I showed you the picture of my vagina with a little bang flag coming out of it?
I drank all the wines... and all th Doritos. Whilst watching Fat Camp. I need to reassess my values.
nyquil+orgasm=very intense and oddly interesting
let me wake up, find my pants, and find out where i am tommorow and ill get back to you on that
you were on all fours in the front yard puking, but managed to hand the pizza delivery guy a beer and to have a nice day.
Randomize
