Oh please, I could turn a Vienna Boys Choir concert into a shit show
If Andre Agassi did Crystal Meth, what was John McEnroe doing?
I don't have the money to get a cast so we made one from stuff at the craft store.
Woke up with pink eye in both my eyes. That's how the threesome went
So it turns out rose was the bear hunting girl. Fuck my life
None of those words made sense together.
No, the real question is if you drink like I drink why WOULDN'T you wear a cape.
Operation: sleep in every bed at the boys' house is nearing completion. Now at 5/9. I AM GOLDILOCKS AND NO ONE CAN STOP ME
I'm wearing a suit and have no chance of getting laid or robing a casino. I consider this opportunity a failure
I'm just trying my hardest not to get addicted to drugs or pregnant and all your other friends are out there getting married
We had sex on roll out bean bag chair, and then proceeded to sleep with a blanket with dolphins on it. Happy birthday to me.
The hint wasn't even a hint. it said "stop talking to her" that's pretty straightforward
I left her alone for a few minutes and she's already using a guy on his hands and knees as a chair while another guy is serving her margaritas.
Ive never seen a drunk man get suplexed before last week, now its the standard requirement every time we go out.
I found a new button on my vibrator, tonight was a success
I don't care how hot she was. She didn't like Scooby Doo and I don't fuck with that.
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