She acts like you when your on meds
She acts like batman?
so today I found out that she used to be a he....
are you gonna get a divorce?
I know I'm really high but I swear I just saw him beating off to his fantasy football roster.
i had to take my roommates dildo out of her suitcase so I could use it
the suitcase or the dildo?
And i laid in the yard with carrots on my chest cause i wanted a bunny
he asked if he could put his cape on while he was still inside me.
it was a weeks worth of wine for $20. it would have been fiscally irresponsible to not buy it.
Honestly, it was easier to just put it in my mouth than to deal with an awkward conversation.
This whole situation could've been avoided if you would've just let me open the beer
He didn't dress up but kept finding random pieces of costumes on the floor at each club. He was an 80s hair band warrior at the end of the night.
Bro, she used the potato bongs to make French fries after. She's deff a keeper.
Do you know what your brother wants for his birthday?
Yeah he said he wants a decent blowjob for a change.
.......
I'm just looking out for you.
Are you high?
The snorkel mask makes that pretty clear
Made it to my hair appointment on time, and got some dick. Today is already a great day
Bro, that'd be the third dick I've taken down in the office.
Randomize
