Is it bad that everytime I read or hear "Woo Hoo" I immediately think of sex because of The Sims?
we turned his baptism video into a drinking game
theres so much semen in my vacuum cleaner...
Sandwiches are there for you when porn isn't.
Doing tuck and rolls down a stair case was not my brightest idea
Rule #127: If your going to try fuck a married guy, you gotta be hotter then his wife; diet starts today.
Chick last night said she only gets off if she rubs her childhood blanket her parents gave her during sex
The only thing I regret was that he was wearing a scarf when we made out.
He just walked up to me in the kitchen, pulled out his penis and stuck it in my sweatpants pocket.
It was probably cold. Sweatpants pockets are notoriously warm.
4 people stoned, 3 boys I've slept with, 2 I gave chlamydia, and a partridge in a pear treeeeee
How festive
Gay bathhouses. They're actually a thing. So god does exist. And he doesn't hate me as much as you think he does
That's not fair! You can't come over after you just had sex and rub my dry spell in my face!
Is it too early to get staydrunk at 1pm on Friday for Monday's St Patty's day
Would it be creepy if I masturbated with my face in the pillow he slept on last night? Cuz I'm pretty sure that's about to happen
So I'm at early voting and the group of ladies behind me is talking about voting no on 2 and my gummy is kicking in, thank lawd
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