I sk at the spereo and my dad gave me and all access pass
what???
AN ALL ACCESS PASSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSS
She tried to have sex with him but he quote unquote respected her
i cant believe u jumped in someones trunk just to get out of talking to me
Unfortunately, they didn't pull of their wake and bake plans. Instead, they waked and vomited like a half-retarded giraffe till everyone woke up.
Thinking about bringing a vibrator to the tanning bed...kill two birds with one stone right?
So I came home baked last night and made about 60% of my jeans into jorts...
hypothetically speaking is slutty or smart to buy plan b before we go on spring break so i dont have to get it in mexico
This guy kept running around with a blender giving people shots of everclear and vodka. Best. Toga. Party. Ever.
just used my sex toy cleaning solution to clean my reading glasses. midterms are cramping my styleeee
She ditched her BF in the library to come see me wasted at a house party and i still ended up banging that rugby chick instead.
So half of us were already throwing up outside when the Ukrainians ask us if we're ready to start partying yet. I love this country.
I'm not even 100% sure what it is, but if it involves Thor and Doritos, I'm in
My neighbor came out@4am in a pink nite gown n clotheslined a punk on a mo-ped w/her mop handle, then just walked back in her house like she just checked the mail. MILF 1 PUNK 0
Update on my sex life: my calves are sore from masturbating too much. It's a thing. Look it up.
Im playing a game I have to take a drink every time my gram asks me the same question hammered by 4 guaranteed
Randomize
