he said "you're pretty" then i made out with him. thats all it took
what did you hear about me?
that you are a very nice girl and a pleasure to be around
that was hard to say and not laugh
It's amazing how much better one feels once you put something in your vagina.
i would eat my own dick if it were covered in nutella
He looked down at his phone and screamed "I'M NOT A DAD!" and then bought the entire bar a round
Dude, you disappeared somewhere on the walk back and shortly after we got a call from your cell phone from this guy explaining that him and his roommates woke up to the smell of burning pizza and a naked stranger on their couch.
being a senior sucks, I just started embracing my inner slutty college girl, and it's almost time to put her away...for like, ever. and i really like her.
I'd be careful with that one, she got 86'd from the family dollar while SOBER.
We got the DJ into it too! "If there are any dudes into other dudes out there, my man mark is looking to get pounded. Buy him a drink stat!"
The cleaning lady even cleaned my bong. I'm scared to open my sex toy drawer and see if and how she organized it
It tastes like you we're too lazy to shower and instead just sprayed yourself with Febreeze.
You have a very discerning palate.
If you're mature enough to fuck him you're mature enough to tell him you don't want a relationship come on
The number of threesomes I have agreed to seems to increase every time I talk to you drunk...
I've only fucked to 2 Fleetwood Mac songs, that must be why my life feels so empty.
Have you forgotten that this whole sexy cop role play started with a comment about my mom?
Randomize
