No, computers are like whores. moody bitches that cost too much and no matter how much protection you have you can still get a virus
Hallmark should totally make "congratulations on getting your period" cards...I feel they would be quite popular.
This is the 4 year anniversary of the last time I shit my pants. Let's get drunk...
She asked me why there was $2 in the lunchmeat drawer of the fridge and BBQ sauce all over the kitchen... I'm not sure but I know it has something to do with you
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
some people wear their heart on their sleeve but you just wear your vagina on your face.
Thank God I did Vegas bombs with those cops at their Christmas party. We should so be in jail.
He said "I wish they sold 40's in bars".. and a business plan came to mind. Maybe I CAN do something with my degree...
At one point, you closed your eyes and asked me which 'six flags' we were at
Me and this 7 year old almost finished a large pizza. And when I say me and this 7 year old I really mean me.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Just watched my entire extended family eat salad out of the bowl i threw up in last night.
I don't think I'm gonna survive today. I don't remember how to walk. I must crawl 6 blocks to my bed.
What am I thankful for..I figured out I can drink on antibiotics without getting sick thanks to the power of pot gummies
You're going to literally shit your fucking unholy pants when Jesus rides in with his dual light-sabers on his velociraptor and cleaves you in half.
It's National Whipped Cream Day, prep those nips
Any luck with the purse?
No, though I did find her weed. Also her sons name is King. I'm uncertain how I feel about that
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