break up sex still means we will always be broken up.
dont quote avril lavinge. im to drunk.
He's playing farmville on his phone while puking over the toilet..
I honestly don't know what my boundaries are, but shitting on me is crossing them.
It all boils down to, who else do we know that is willing to buy our friendship?
well hes been the bathroom for like 15 mins so he either feels comfortable enough to puke/ shit in my apartment or he escaped out the window
Everybody shut up a minute, we need to discuss how much nicer the world would be if pants weren't a thing.
Sending emails to my new boss whilst unable to move from the toilet seat because of alcohol. Great start to a new job as a school counselor.
Something like that. Healthy diet of beer, ranch sunflower seeds and sex keeps me young.
everything in the house taste like gin even the water, friday nite was a success
I shouldn't have that kind of responsibility when the prospect of being high is readily available. All I could do was hula hoop and smoke cigarettes last night. My remembrance of anything important was out the window.
I woke up to him crying and pouring pixy stix in my mouth saying they would bring me back to life.
I fucked his roommate. And that roommate's best friend. And my roommate. And my roommate's old roommate.
i'm bowing down, but slow your roll.
Wow this just keeps getting better, weed, shrooms, a stripper..........a gun.
I’ve basically been controlling him with my tits for months now, so I can’t even imagine what would happen if I start banging him
Randomize
