I just made a friends list on fb of all the guys ive hooked up with. genius.
ARE YOU ALIVE? usually when i say lets start drinking at inappropriate times you come right over. im worried
he put $150 on the cabs dash so 9 of us could pile in and ride 3 blocks to the apartment.
i was staring at her drunk thinking "shes at least a four"
Not much, really baked..... beethoven is AMAZING it's like i'm flying in space with baby jesus
Europe's "the final countdown" was playing. It was pretty much amnesty for anything that might happen the rest of the night. It's a rule.
We realized tonight that we have to get advice about guys from you because you're our only straight male friend that neither of us has slept with.
I just creeped on air mattress guy's facebook and discovered his ex is the trifecta of evil: tiny, cute, and blonde.
When I wake up, please remind me why my shoe is in the toilet, my shower is filled with jello, and there is a naked girl sleeping on my coffee table holding a bag of Cheetos. that is all.
He says I vaguely mumbled happy New year, kissed him, threw up and then went back to sleep.
Sexting is killing my work productivity but it's okay because I'm self-employed
March Madness means a buffet of emotionally vulnerable dick at the bars almost every night. So yeah my vagina and I are big fans.
1. Everyone on the 1st and 3rd floor heard you. 2. The 3rd floor vibrates when we have sex. 3. The 1st floor can hear the bed squeak.
Please don't give away my fajitas
There’s a child, alone, sitting on a picnic table out there, making bird noises
Randomize
