Do you think "I had sex with my co-worker last night I don't think I can come in today" is a good excuse?
i hate that site..its like every vagina you dont wanna see
just walked past a group of stoners who were staring open jawed in the spice aisle. tonight they will stumble upon something amazing.
I appreciate the offer. Swallowing pride is much like swallowing cum, difficult and unpleasant
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Let me begin my 3 part apology by saying that you are a wonderful human being...
Get out here. Doing shots with the delivery guy. Also, the food is here
My mom said that if she can come this weekend, she'll buy the weed.
How would one go about tricking someone into chugging an entire bottle of tequila?
I gave him head in my cape. On the kitchen floor. Watching a show about bacon.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I always "accidentally" drop a condom and make sure she sees it's a magnum. By the time I'm inside her and she realizes how small I am, it's all over in a flash and I'm done. Plus, they never call back so I never have to see the girl ever again. #gratefulforprematuretinypenis
All I can think of is a mama duck followed by her baby ducks, in brightly colored track shoes.
How high are you?
At some point he mentioned fried rice and take out... I don't think we know how sexting works
The fact that I bookended my summer with pregnancy scares doesn't upset me. The fact that he's a trombone major does...
Is it just me or is Michael Jackson blasting throughout the house
As much as I hate to admit it, some day ill need a man because I can't open jars myself and you can't 69 a dildo
Like I don't even know how to respond to this?
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