I did something stupid with eggs call me when you get up. Cops were also involved.
and after you realized your puke was bright blue, you started crying hysterically and screaming, "I DON'T WANT TO BE A SMURF!" no more uv blue for you.
i came out of the bathroom and he had christmas lights wrapped up his leg, around his boner, and down the other side
the facebook you made of my ass has 10 times more friends than i do.
Sometimes I wonder how different my life would be if I didn't share a weekly margarita with my mom since i was 12
By round 4 of the Dead End shots, I thought my jaw was dislocated ... Best invention EVER.
It's like split custody, only he's not a kid and they have sex with him.
There is soup leaking out of my nose nothing in life has prepared me for this moment
Hes drunk and dancing naked. I can hear his dick smacking his legs from the next room.
Y'all best leave this "I can only have a couple drinks" shit at the door. U don't drive to Yukon to have a shot. I'm getting u fuckers drunk.
third nipple confirmed
I kinda got drunk and threw my debit card into a bonfire so I don't have any money at the moment lol.
I have no reason to put on pants anymore. This is my new reality.
you made the house rule that every time you'd say "yay" everyone had to drink.
that explains so much
I will not abuse the gift that was given to me
You were given a vagina and you abuse that pretty hard
Randomize
