hey i know this is weird but does alcohol affect pregnancy tests?
If a man's penis is referred to as "the family jewels" does that make a woman's vagina a jewelry box?
That glade motion activator thing keeps going off every time we pass the bong. I don't know what I'm getting high off right now.
Well, he sent me "techno kitty adventure" about 10 minutes ago. So, he could be anywhere.
He slow fucked me. Doggy style. On a porch. You never slow fuck doggy style. Its a law. A LAW.
The only reason I'd ever want a boyfriend is so that someone would spoon feed me applesauce when I'm so hungover I can't move
Instead of medicine they should just give ecstasy. Also I'm tingly and can't find u guys. A gay man just said he loved me... :( / :)
Only the gays. Guy gives me a handjob in the steam, then changes next to me under his towel
Only the gays
Last night you told me you "were too high" and didn't deserve a hashbrown.
There is a guy in class using a wine bottle as a water bottle. Welcome to the Faculty of Environment.
I know you're on a date and I should leave you alone but about twenty minutes ago I realized I haven't been spanked in years so if you're still looking for a birthday present, you know, consider it.
Those boxers don't belong to me anymore. They belong to the desert surrounding Phoenix.
She showed up at 4:30 in the morning HAMMERED, stripped, demanded sex, then after 4 failed attempts stopped me mid-thrust to tell me she thought we should be fucking for a cause, like animal rights. Process that for a second. She wanted us to be fucking for animal rights.
What color nail polish screams, "Either fuck me or get the hell out of my way"?
ill drive you to the airport today if we can have sex first
i left yesterday
ill pick you up from the airport on sunday if we can have sex after
Randomize
