im keeping my plan b box as a souvenir of my first halloween weekend in college
she was throwing up and singing "I HAD a feeling that tonight was going to be a good good night." And yeah she was still in her dress.
Someone just pulled taco bell tacos out of their purse in class....2 problems with here. 1) this class is nutrition 2) taco bell is not open this early.
found a pic of my little bro & his girl naked. he got the brains and the huge junk gene. I hate him
As I was going down on her I noticed she had a tatoo on her inner thigh that said "Eat it like your birthday cake".
I can't believe all the places I got into shoeless last night. Apparently no one will say no to a girl covered in paint with a ripped shirt
Just smokin in the creek with some deer, they like the smoke, I know.
We got a kitchen table so we would eat together more. So far we've played drunken monopoly and had sex on it.
She had a tattoo on her pelvis that said "it's cock-o-clock" an had clocks and hot dogs exploding away from it. I'd like to tell you it was deal breaker buuuuuuut.......
omg he is no good in bed, bless his little heart and his big dick
EVERYTHING IS DISNEY. Even my sexting can lead to Disney.
My liver needs the occasional pep talk and a reminder that we are two weeks into freshman year of college.
It took me three days, but I managed to nearly get arrested on my way out of LA. Made it to the airport. Crisis averted, though. The real crime is, my flight is delayed two hours.
Where you been?
Please tell me this is a booty call
I am convinced you could sleep through the apocalypse and only wake up because youre hungry & want Dominoes
Randomize
