just jacked off with my ROTC uniform on. boy i feel like an american.
These eggs taste like chocolate chip cookies. This is the best hangover ever.
Having drunken flash backs of me giving you a piggy back ride. I was like Jesus, and you were my cross. I fell so many times for you. This is true friendship.
I just found a GIANT thermos of sangria in my sink. I don't know if its still good to drink, but its good to drink.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Sunday is a myth, I refuse to believe that I waste an entire day unable to function after a night of drinking.
you are going to have to live with the consequences, i'm going to fuck your sister
I just learned my tits were fire resistant. I should join the freakin circus
ask me again when I'm sobewr aka tuesday
I just googled "creative ways to tell someone you'll give them a blow job". I'm losing my touch.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
somehow a ride to walgreens turned into a threesome.
my boobs just made me lose a game of beer pong. the balls hit them, bounced off and into the cup. twice. ive never been so disappointed in them.
My dad is sitting where you rode me
Oh don't mind my cushion, I got plowed in the ass by a freight train last night
I am a unicorn in a field of flowers, you asshole.
My vagina knows your penis is sad about Andrew Luck. You should come over and let her comfort him in his time of need
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