you dont want to live with me, im always naked, a chronic masturbator, a bit of a voyeur and will likely touch you while you sleep. ps- i can pick locks
you think the cum will come out of moms black shirt?
we found him in the shower with a bottle of jose saying "this is Mexico's fault"
She loves me even though she knows all Ive done. Shes kind of like jesus.
I guarantee that wasn't the first penis someone placed on her forehead.
I send him pictures of my tits whenever I feel like he's paying too much attention to his girlfriend.
Also.. The Hobbit does not look like a cartoon. We were just too fucking high.
My arrest report says I was found in midtown "performing lewd and lascivious acts on top of art meant for public display and enjoyment".
Got hit on by the cable guy. Solid 9. Think Orlando Bloom with a glorious curly mullet.
I was Jaeger weird. I was rolling on the floor pretending to be an Olympic gymnast and my name was Gina
I sent a picture of my balls to one of my best friends, so basically it was an average night.
I cant go through life without knowing what ginger pubes actually look like
Also Fuck you Stephen King and Fuck the horse you rode in on, making me cry In front of my coworkers.
Be there in 6 mins I’m smell like fireball. and strippers and need to use your showers before go home
God damn you Coronavirus! I'm jonesing I got the itch. I would fully satisfy a horse for some Taco Bell or Perkins. God help me I'm going insane but I definitely don't want to get sick.
Randomize
