No stitches, just platelets and will power
I went with the blow up doll and I'm glad I did.
Part in the USA is on your top 25 most played on iTunes. you have NO RIGHT to judge me.
He went all Bachlorette on me.. "I just want to guard and protect your heart" bullshit
Seius question. Does a penis floar when ina baht? Must find out.
Yeah...I know. It's cute I think...I mean cute in a weird like hey I kinda took you home from the bar one night, maybe criticized your penis, and fucked your brains out...kinda sorta way
I am convinced that after two dates and a few adult sleepovers that he still doesn't know my name.
i want to go make food but i'll have to face my mom after telling her that the random i'm sleeping with, whose name i don't know, told me I was "too slutty to be his girlfriend" when i was drunk last night
How high are you?
I feel like breakfast can just fly into my mouth
Well I just found the most comfortable way to pass out on my toilet if I ever have to.
Its a good thing to know for upcoming events.
I just had to kick out lesbian wedding crashers. They literally wanted to punch me. I threatened to call the cops so they went outside and smoked a joint.
He turned down head in favor of a handjob. Not sure if he's crazy or i have magic hands
We just stood outside and debated the existence of mermaids for about 20 min. Is this what too drunk is?
Glitter fights sound a lot funner in theory.
I ran into the marine at the grocery store. Its like my vag and his penis have this way of finding each other when I least want it.
Randomize
