that's an acceptable place to lick
Skipped a towel and decided to spit the cum into his face. I now owe him new contacts.
I'm so cold I just used my boobs to keep my face warm
christmas break will be like the 25 days of orgasms
im pretty sure your bra is in my room hanging on my shark pinata
He showed me one of his balls and said "this one's free. you'll have to work to see the other.."
My dog just threw up a condom. Sorry for accusing you of not wearing one, I found it now.
I'm not gonna lie; I was dosed with mushrooms and am eating pickles with a guy in all white. It's weird, but I'm down. Help.
The trees feel like magic. Come fly to taco bell with me.
Are you sure you didn't shit in my back yard?
When you are 21 it's acceptable to run out of the tavern and puke all over the bike rack... when you are 35 it's called alcoholism.
Trust no bitch in laser tag. Not a single one.
i just need to find someone who enjoys eating frozen waffles as much as I do. It will be perfect.
I left at 4:30 in the morning and I told him it was because I had to take my contacts out
So I got a text from him saying "jacking off...thinking of you" I think I'm going to get a restraining order
Randomize
