Is that you in the white hat?
Fine suit yourself
he has a girlfriend so we used my stuffed animals to pretend to have sex
After watching Cinemax for a few months, real porn just grosses me out.
Thank God for cruise control and the Starbucks cup I had to puke in.
Seriously, in what other class can the final major discussion be what bar you're going to with your prof?
Question: rebounding with your exboyfriend over your rebound guy is healthy right?
I'm bringing vagina and cookies. You'll be fine.
Yeah. He can't come because his mom found the pizza box under his bed with my underwear in it. He acted confused, guess because i forgot to tell him..
If your relationships aren't working out because she doesn't have a penis THEN maybe you should give dudes another go
Weirdest sensation ever: having your penis fall asleep. It was like tiny hulk hogan was choking it out
I say go for the trifecta and maybe you'll get a medal or something. Or a baby. That's like the same thing right?
Hey I had a great night last night but I don't want to lie to you I'm only 19 and that wasn't my place its was my cousin he's gone for the summer and I was just house sitting and watching his cat I'm sorry
Are you texting me while pooping again?
I'm also playing fetch with the dog
Hey I know we haven't talked in a while, but I wanted to thank you for those m&ms you bought me for Christmas. Sorry I never got you anything then broke up with you.
And the you walked in and said to the only under age dude "IM NOT SLEEPING WITH YOU TONIGHT!!!" You may not have high standards but thanks for not sleeping with my brother!
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