It smelt so bad when i tried biting off her underwear that i didn't want to touch with my mouth
Little spoons don't ask big questions
Hemmingway ran to paris to avoid going to the university of illinois and becoming a doctor. It was there he developed a drinking problem. I need a plane ticket.
Just saw someone buying TWO six packs of O'Doul's. WHY ??
Question: does the slut gene come from the mother or the father? im trying to figure out who to blame.
I am a human short and spout . Here is my jager Herr is my redbull . When i get real drink i shout out. Tip me over and pour yeager out
I told her I had the flu when in reality I did way too many drugs last night, haven't slept and don't want to sit through a 3 hour buisness meeting trying to figure out which voices are real and which are in my head
Let's just say trying to drink my weight in apple pie shots looked better in theory.
I wonder when walk of shame thursdays in the rain will finally make me stop drinking.
Apparently she has a 10 week old kid, which would explain the hallway effect I was feeling.
Last night turned out to be an expensive trip to your house between the ticket and the plan b. (Well I haven't gotten that yet)
well i don't know if 30 seconds is exactly a good time but at least he bought me breakfast
Hey sorry if you felt me holding your hand in the middle of the night I was actually just checking you had a pulse
Finding my pants in the morning should not make me this proud
Something is wrong here. The birds are chirping and I'm not fucking you, I'm not getting head and I don't smell bacon. Why am I up this early then?
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