Yeah, she'd be cute...but she has faith. It's a problem down south.
i decided i am going on the Justin Bobby plan for success. Don't cut my hair for a year, don't shave for a month, land Audrina Patridge. Game on.
just crush a couple of percocets into it. tell him sam adams came out with a new beer. flavored with sleep.
my phone calendar just alerted me that it's "weed time" in 15 minutes. do not remember setting that alert last night...
Jumped in the kebab van and said he was Ultimate MasterChef. Incurred wrath of six angry Turks. I got free chips.
We need to get sombreros so I can give them to strippers.
"guaranteed dick" "anywhere - her room, my room, trees, couch"
Sorry that was quotes about you from the grad student.
you took the tequila shot and then procceded to eat the lime..we told you to spit it out but you just straight face kept chomping
I thought my period ended but I felt it again as soon as Pitbull started playing
So ive come to the realization that my affinity for tattooed guys makes me the literal definition of tit for tat
My signature move is making guys wonder why they bothered in the first place
The fact that he quoted freebird as his breakup speech was a little more classy than expected
So you can text and rub it at the same time? Bravo.
I can do anything and masturbate, if I truly wanted to.
How proud should I be that I googled "dildo with wheels" and actually got the result I wanted?
In my life time, I want nothing more than to get a blow job while watching Space Jam.
Randomize
