my roomate judo was messing around with a girl who recently had a kid, when he was sucking her tits milk came out lmao
it can't be normal that my body odor smells like fries
i understand why you think this is a bad idea but its happening so buckle up an get your whiskey
wore my lacy blue thong that says "hello there" across the front today for my gynecologist appointment. I live to make people uncomfortable
He just told me that when we were doing it I told him I was the captain and he was the boat. Im too embarassed to ask for money for a cab.
just letting you know, you took a hit of the blunt while sleeping. happy birthday
Im gonna take a shit then figure out how to be better at basketball
I really like her...she always overpays me for xanax and still feels the need to fuck me to make up for it....
Bring me the dick of your room mate Alex and I will reward you in in skittles.
It's a little sad/awesome that I scored coke within 60 seconds of walking in the bar.
The student becomes the teacher.
It makes showers more interesting trying to drink a gin and tonic and keep soap out of my eyes at the same time.
You need to calm down.
I should not be so motivated by a penis, but I am
lonely sunday drunk me decided to tweeze my pubes. HORRIBLE IDEA
Had to clear my browser history. I figured if she used the search bar and her name came up, it might be a little creepy.
i just wanted have a romantic star gaze moment with him. untill he let out a massive fart.
Randomize
