ok, i just want to know who did it and which end it came out of
I'm too hungover for some lady to talk to me about potatoes
Well, for starters you dressed up in all Green and kept singing that song from "A Goofy Movie". Then you made us call you Powerline for the rest of the night...needless to say no, you didn't hook up with her
I used the word aforementioned in my paper. That's an automatic A in community college.
so when i dont talk to her she talks to herself...idk whats worse
She made me role-play everything from an older prof to a in-patient in need of a medical exam. Yay for cocaine.
well, the two that sent pics I've already been with, so at least its not just BAM HERE'S MY PENIS IN YOUR INBOX ENJOY THOSE MEGAPIXELS
The best part of last night was the women's softball game on the TV at the strip club
Florida has a way of just fucking with a person's soul and jizzing all over their hopes and dreams. Like existential bukkake.
I need to pay that drinking in public ticket, but I also really want to get a spray tan next week... so priorities.
he has a party story that rivals our "PTSD- soldier-with-a-knife" party story. I'm pretty sure this is part of some prophecy.
My walk of shame is starting to become positively reinforcing; I stop by Starbucks and when I leave I look someone just heading to work.
i woke up face planted on your ottoman..thanks for letting me sleepover
Nothing says girls night like wine cheese and pregnancy tests 😂
hypothetically, what's the best method to remove an stray semen gob from a roommate's important school document?
Randomize
