You know that restaurant that is like over by home depot?
That shitty one? I heard the food sucks there
It's my parent's restaurant
we are at a mexican restaurant and the tv is playing mexican porn. dad won't stop watching.
I keep finding coffee grounds in my vagina
I was high enough to think that mac-n-cheese w/ ketchup, tortilla chips w/ ketchup, and milk was a fancy dinner
Then they all walked away with the drinks I bought them, and the fat one slapped me in the face. I left and my car had been towed. Worst night ever.
He sent me $300 worth of sex toys. My clitoris went into hiding after two days.
Nyquil jello-shots aiding in health and happiness
omg. i wish i could describe to you the number of things that were just in my vagina. i feel like i got gangbanged by construction workers.
FRIENDSHIP PRAYER: May the crabs of 1,000 whores infest the crotch of the person who fucks up your day
Bathtub drinking tim. I have no pool so I work with what I have
Well you were hungry, by then you cried and called yourself a basic bitch for eating crackers
I asked Tony because I knew he wouldn't give me a lecture about consequences
???? Tony IS a lecture about consequences
My move is emasculating men with my superior intellect and it's not as charming when they can't see my huge rack.
How early is too early to start drinking when studying for the bar?
Apparently I have a "problem" because I enjoy doing bong rips in the shower
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