I dint menn to makr ut w brtendr
U lft me at bar, no cassh for cab, may have slept with bartender
In the car with my brother. His CD went from 2pac to Taylor Swift. I'm concerned. It wasn't a mistake, he knows all the words.
New all-time record for most uncomfortable I've ever been. A midget just asked me to restrap his fanny pack in the bathroom.
Shaking her cervix like it's the hottest ticket around
You rolled out of the car, got on all fours and puked then just nonchalantly stood up and waved goodbye and thanks for the ride.
if the best thing you can say about him is "he probably wont kill me" you may want to rethink hanging out with him
I can't see straight with both eyes and ive only been at the bar for an hour. Someone else typed this for me.
I was just compiling a top 5 blowjobs list and that's in there for sure.
we kept pushing you at the prospective students saying go for it, itll make them want to come here
you kept yelling THIS ONES FOR THE ADMISSIONS OFFICE and then youd go in for the kill
my head hurts. i need an adult
and not like a cool parent adult. like a full fledged party pooper grandparent adult
they have a video of him in his boxers making a snow angel in the hallway is his own vomit and coca cola.
Would you like to partake in getting high as fuck with your best friend and then proceeding to cry over the shit head guys we deal with?
Speaking of church, everyone showed up to lunch in the dining hall in their Sunday best and I walk in looking homeless bc I just got out of bed. I hate this school.
Well, she yelled at the stripper that she couldn't lick whipped cream off his nipples because she is lactose intolerant.
You had me at "let me see your balls"