do you know mcdonalds refuses to give out large cups of water now? you have to buy a bottle or they give you a small cup. No exceptions.
I said FINE, then I'd like 7 small waters and 2 of those nifty carrying cases to carry about my h2o.
outsmarted mickey deeeees
My feet smell like cheese. Makes me hungry.
girl! he was asleep with his back to me.he farted and i actually felt the wind blow across my leg.nice
u sent me just one boob. one just doesnt do it for me. u dont get full on a half a rack of ribs u need a full one
25 Of The Most Cringeworthy Internet Stalking Fails
All you kept saying was "my dick ALWAYS causes problems".
Fuck. That. I'm gonna get drunker and make them regret they EVER put me at the kids table. I'm a MAN.
Please tell me I did not ask the bartender how big his dick was.
Using the salt from a pretzel bag for tequila shots. Come over.
Yeah bro I don't know how she's gonna explain the black eye, how else do you tell your boss "my knee hit me in the face during sex last night"
21 People Who Barely Escaped Death
Jesus, I just want to drink. Also simultaneously punch things and rub my vagina on them.
Hot Damn Cinnamon Schnapps make me feel like the sun is punching me in the face and a bear is sleeping inside me.
We're like a dynamic duo.
Bisexual and Proud, Lesbian and Loud.
I am an advanced cybernetic robot sent back in time to 2013 to fuck my wife senseless for hours on end. Have you seen this wife?
Eddy, if you don't want to roll play then say so. This is just obnoxious
Se wrote an essay in class about proper and fashionable winter wear for dogs. Of course I regret fucking her.
I can't believe I came last night staring into my profile pictures eyes.