Texts From Last Night

• Favorite

  (650): View more from California

  I'll buy you a vibrator, we can get married for tax benefits, and live happily ever after with lots of doggggs.

  Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

  (650): I'll buy you a vibrator, we can get married for tax benefits, and live happily ever after with lots of doggggs. http://tfl.nu/bo8w
  Replies (7) Good night (1715) Bad night (584)
• Favorite

  (908): View more from New Jersey

  what if I'm pregnant?

  (848): View more from New Jersey

  smusmorshion

  Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

  (908): what if I'm pregnant? (848): smusmorshion http://tfl.nu/vksj
  Replies (103) Good night (1999) Bad night (2997)
• Favorite

  (212): View more from New York

  i want you now

  (916): View more from California

  you need to stop dating girls with the same name as your mother...or stop drinking so much...I don't want to see this

  Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

  (212): i want you now (916): you need to stop dating girls with the same name as your mother...or stop drinking so much...I don't want to see this http://tfl.nu/8egt
  Replies (148) Good night (7347) Bad night (69927)
• Favorite

  (304): View more from West Virginia

  apparently smacking a customer in the face with his iPhone was not part of the WOW factor we learned in training...

  Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

  (304): apparently smacking a customer in the face with his iPhone was not part of the WOW factor we learned in training... http://tfl.nu/a5eu
  Replies (36) Good night (4158) Bad night (738)
• Favorite

  (918): View more from Oklahoma

  My low point of the night was when my roommate spit out her jello shot and i took it...

  Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

  (918): My low point of the night was when my roommate spit out her jello shot and i took it... http://tfl.nu/dlfs
  Replies (1) Good night (843) Bad night (4508)
• Favorite

  (862): View more from New Jersey

  he put a lighter in my cleavage and said "you're like another pocket!"

  Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

  (862): he put a lighter in my cleavage and said "you're like another pocket!" http://tfl.nu/rt63
  Replies (15) Good night (5202) Bad night (1465)
• Favorite

  (973): View more from New Jersey

  Nada. Shooting off confetti and wanted to see I'd u could see it from ur house.

  (1-973): View more from New Jersey

  Wow. Its not even 11am.

  Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

  (973): Nada. Shooting off confetti and wanted to see I'd u could see it from ur house. (1-973): Wow. Its not even 11am. http://tfl.nu/p3yd
  Replies (3) Good night (3104) Bad night (1084)
• Favorite

  (810): View more from Michigan

  people at meijer look at you funny when you have 37 bottles of champagne in your cart.

  Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

  (810): people at meijer look at you funny when you have 37 bottles of champagne in your cart. http://tfl.nu/4ahf
  Replies (14) Good night (3550) Bad night (791)
• Favorite

  (336): View more from North Carolina

  For u too. Could be years before u have a finger in ur ass

  Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

  (336): For u too. Could be years before u have a finger in ur ass http://tfl.nu/ljpj
  Replies (9) Good night (561) Bad night (1090)
• Favorite

  (907): View more from Alaska

  This vodka tastes like I'm not going to class tomorrow.

  Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

  (907): This vodka tastes like I'm not going to class tomorrow. http://tfl.nu/qu4g
  Replies (3) Good night (3468) Bad night (551)
• Favorite

  (970): View more from Colorado

  Oh thank the gods of upholstery, i thought that was never coming out...

  Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

  (970): Oh thank the gods of upholstery, i thought that was never coming out... http://tfl.nu/zr6z
  Replies (3) Good night (886) Bad night (439)
• Favorite

  (716): View more from New York

  I made people serenade her before talking to her and went on a condom run. If I'm going to be in the friend zone, I'm going to be its fucking king.

  Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

  (716): I made people serenade her before talking to her and went on a condom run. If I'm going to be in the friend zone, I'm going to be its fucking king. http://tfl.nu/29xr
  Replies (7) Good night (1315) Bad night (512)
• Favorite

  (617): View more from Massachusetts

  Seriously, don't even. "Hi, have I seen you half naked covered in bright red body paint on the internet?" is NOT acceptable water-cooler chit-chat.

  (1-617): View more from Massachusetts

  Aw.

  Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

  (617): Seriously, don't even. "Hi, have I seen you half naked covered in bright red body paint on the internet?" is NOT acceptable water-cooler chit-chat. (1-617): Aw. http://tfl.nu/wvoj
  Replies (2) Good night (680) Bad night (764)
• Favorite

  (512): View more from Texas

  He balanced a treat on his nose, and then he rolled me a joint. My bf is the best pet ever.

  Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

  (512): He balanced a treat on his nose, and then he rolled me a joint. My bf is the best pet ever. http://tfl.nu/bmne
  Replies (1) Good night (752) Bad night (276)
• Favorite

  (514): View more from Quebec

  The guy behind me is talking about how his life goal is to use his knowledge of mathematics to make the world a better place. My only life goal right now is getting through this lecture without throwing up in my lap.

  Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

  (514): The guy behind me is talking about how his life goal is to use his knowledge of mathematics to make the world a better place. My only life goal right now is getting through this lecture without throwing up in my lap. http://tfl.nu/k7gv
  Replies (2) Good night (484) Bad night (283)

Randomize