Texts From Last Night · Random Texts

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(801): View more from Utah

just peed in the tub, threw it on Megan.. she threw more back, I got out and threw toilet water on her.. forecast for tomorrow? pink eye.

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(813): View more from Florida

Turns out, Windex will cut right through semen stains on a computer case.

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(248): View more from Michigan

I think the world might be a better place if everyone was capable of having open relationships.

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(845): View more from New York

As im putting my laundry in the machine, i find a solo cup and a pong ball that i signed babe ruth

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These 23 People Share the Worst Advice They’ve Been Given
Read it at the TFLN blog
(817): View more from Texas

just bailed mom out of jail. Tell me i'm not the favorite child

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(973): View more from New Jersey

America approved of our night. A bald eagle flew over us at 7am

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(502): View more from Kentucky

Some guy just stopped me in the bar and asked if I had a shot named after me at another bar called God damn my VaJana hurts? He already knew my name was Jana so I couldn't deny it!

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(317): View more from Indiana

You knocked on your freshman year room door, told the kids who opened it "I own you", and attempted to force-feed them everclear.

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(702): View more from Nevada

I GOT THE PAPER IN AT 11:58

(702): View more from Nevada

EAT MY ENTIRE ASS COM 101

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