I'm having a chugging contest on the streetcar. The driver is judging.
Plus someone just passed me a joint through the window. BEST STREETCAR RIDE EVER
this boner is fucking legendary. i should name it and celebrate its birthday every year
...She then said get into the spirit and started making firecracker noises while having sex
dude all you wanted to do was sleep under a bridge
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
hey, sorry about all the butter. I thought it was gonna help.
I'm also 95% sure I had a conversation with someone on how hard it would be to jerk off with out opposable thumbs
You know you're an adult when you break 100 to get 75 cents, to buy a condom from a bar vending machine in South Boston.
If your nipples ruin my wedding photos I will kill you.
I need to stop getting drunk and telling people it isn't "about them."
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I've finally given up enough on finals week to wear the same shirt three days in a row, because I didn't take my hoodie off for the first two.
Turns out I screen transfered my streaming trucker restroom porn vid to the downstairs neighbors'TV instead of my own, damn you chromecast
Would you be opposed to me keeping a live lobster in the shower for a bit?
He's a douche. But I like the way he chokes me.
well I ran around the park drunk with a plastic baby and fell, all while screaming "I WILL PROTECT YOU CARLOS", yeah there's video
You tryed convincing the salvation army bell ringer you could do the worm and face planted into the sidewalk... I put a dollar in the can for your performance
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