Texts From Last Night

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  (631): View more from New York

  U know those big foam mats in the back gym for track?

  (248): View more from Michigan

  ya, gonna go have sex there?

  (631): View more from New York

  No I want one to have wings and pick me up and take me home

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  (631): U know those big foam mats in the back gym for track? (248): ya, gonna go have sex there? (631): No I want one to have wings and pick me up and take me home http://tfl.nu/4bvt
  Replies (4) Good night (882) Bad night (1391)
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  (209): View more from California

  I am so fucking pissed, there are no Shamwows in the As Seen on TV Store.

  (859): View more from Kentucky

  Looks like you'll have to stick to jizzing in socks.

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  (209): I am so fucking pissed, there are no Shamwows in the As Seen on TV Store. (859): Looks like you'll have to stick to jizzing in socks. http://tfl.nu/01yd
  Replies (24) Good night (852) Bad night (3208)
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  (610): View more from Pennsylvania

  doing washington apple shots with my mom. sunday afternoons suddenly got so much better.

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  (610): doing washington apple shots with my mom. sunday afternoons suddenly got so much better. http://tfl.nu/6sgi
  Replies (70) Good night (3848) Bad night (552) Order T-Shirt
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  (406): View more from Montana

  we convinced you the moon was a planet...again

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  (406): we convinced you the moon was a planet...again http://tfl.nu/tbv6
  Replies (23) Good night (6962) Bad night (768) Order T-Shirt
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  (248): View more from Michigan

  first off, his name is dougie. strike one.

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  (248): first off, his name is dougie. strike one. http://tfl.nu/yrg3
  Replies (22) Good night (959) Bad night (4490) Order T-Shirt
• Favorite

  (518): View more from New York

  I'm starting to have hip problems from having my legs spread too often.

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  (518): I'm starting to have hip problems from having my legs spread too often. http://tfl.nu/3lpk
  Replies (40) Good night (5640) Bad night (1658) Order T-Shirt
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  (305): View more from Florida

  We left the house and she said "let's go dick hunting" theres no way last night was gonna end up well

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  (305): We left the house and she said "let's go dick hunting" theres no way last night was gonna end up well http://tfl.nu/ng2b
  Replies (8) Good night (3089) Bad night (1349) Order T-Shirt
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  (941): View more from Florida

  sometimes i think my sole purpose in life is to cockblock my roommate

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  (941): sometimes i think my sole purpose in life is to cockblock my roommate http://tfl.nu/n9pe
  Replies (8) Good night (3755) Bad night (1244) Order T-Shirt
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  (713): View more from Texas

  You kept trying to use my cat as a napkin.

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  (713): You kept trying to use my cat as a napkin. http://tfl.nu/p64y
  Replies (5) Good night (1208) Bad night (438) Order T-Shirt
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  (813): View more from Florida

  I need to establish a pattern of dominance early.... I'm like a slutty Cesar Milan

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  (813): I need to establish a pattern of dominance early.... I'm like a slutty Cesar Milan http://tfl.nu/4qu1
  Replies (4) Good night (883) Bad night (319) Order T-Shirt
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  (407): View more from Florida

  It was total unicorn galloping on a fucking rainbow awesome.

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  (407): It was total unicorn galloping on a fucking rainbow awesome. http://tfl.nu/288f
  Replies (2) Good night (1202) Bad night (410) Order T-Shirt
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  (314): View more from Missouri

  How was the party? Lets put it this way: "He wants her dick" was a factual sentence stated last night.

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  (314): How was the party? Lets put it this way: "He wants her dick" was a factual sentence stated last night. http://tfl.nu/t7tp
  Replies (5) Good night (515) Bad night (790) Order T-Shirt
• Favorite

  (347): View more from New York

  you were drunkenly making out with a 20-something in front of your wife. at least the guy your wife left with was decent looking.

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  (347): you were drunkenly making out with a 20-something in front of your wife. at least the guy your wife left with was decent looking. http://tfl.nu/78bt
  Replies (6) Good night (363) Bad night (1652) Order T-Shirt
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  (303): View more from Colorado

  New rule. Every time you and I have a disagreement that lasts longer than 10min, while in a bar, we'll have a shot. Figure we'll eventually start agreeing sooner rather than later...

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  (303): New rule. Every time you and I have a disagreement that lasts longer than 10min, while in a bar, we'll have a shot. Figure we'll eventually start agreeing sooner rather than later... http://tfl.nu/qijg
  Replies (4) Good night (795) Bad night (179)
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  (770): View more from Georgia

  You really could become the cat lady we've always dreamed of.

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  (770): You really could become the cat lady we've always dreamed of. http://tfl.nu/9xxo
  Replies (3) Good night (349) Bad night (146) Order T-Shirt

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