it hasn't hit me that college is over yet. so far at home, i haven't brushed my teeth, taken off my makeup, or changed clothes before bed.
You think the Elephant Man ever tried to pick up chicks claiming all his appendages were elephant-sized?
If I had a penis I would totaly hang shit off it. Like stretched out peach rings and fruit rollups.
i rewarded my self with tacobell for not throwing up on any one. MISTAKE
i need to know the scientific term for a guy's taint so i can explain what i did last night.
I've never heard of anyone celebrating the holidays with a fuck buddies family before.
....I'll be expecting my trophy when I return.
Whatever. I'll just fuck him now and deal with the clingyness later.
There is a hole in her door about 2 inch in diameter. You may see me on YouPorn
He sent me a vid of himself jerking off. I hope his hands are the size of tennis rackets or it will be a very short date.
I don't know man, I have to ask my girlfriend if I can borrow my balls from her purse.
I am not betting on the failure of any friend that is not you.
So scratching an ex marines beard, telling him "nice hairy pussy." then when he opens his mouth to respond, I started fingering his mouth. Needless to say was a horrible idea
Sitting in bed reading a porn novel off my phone and accidentally just made Siri start reading the most graphic part aloud. FUN FIRST NIGHT WITH THE NEW ROOMIE.
Between fucking and sleeping I woke up missing four out of five of the earrings I was wearing. It's like a star rating system. I had to give him props.
I turn 40 next week. I deserve to celebrate the end of my 30’s with a 21 year old dick
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