new call of duty comes out in november. guess im not passing my finals
That shot tasted like Sant Claus came in my mouth. I love the holidays.
its 9am. i just got home. spent 6 hours blowing him in a closet last night
I have seen more male genitalia at this party tonight than I ever want to see again in my entire life.
they are using this drunk girl like a spin the bottle in the hot tub, whoever she lands on she makes out with.
Just woke up. Need to shower and fuck. Be there when I'm done disappointing. Should be 30.
while you've been gone this has kinda turned into some sort of fivesome-type thing. just thought i should warn you for when you get back
And dont tell me its his job to cockblock me just because he's my boyfriend.
i was staring at her drunk thinking "shes at least a four"
I gotta find new tactics tho. There's just so many tied up dicks one can look at before part of your soul dies.
Be ready for a dog pile. On your head. With my ass.
Because my vagina is Ellis Island. All foreign penises must be presented for inspection and competency. God bless America.
Both guys that I'm dating were waiting for me in the parking lot after work. Literally the most awkward situation I have ever been in
Hmmm... I thought we agreed as a group we make our last stand in Philly...
I don't wanna go out like that. Covered in melted cheese smelling like a sewer rat...
He asked me how many starwars references he could make before i no longer find him attractive.
Randomize
