Erin Andrews shaves. She also likes to check out her ass in the mirror. Of course if I had an ass like that I'd be checking it out in the mirror too.
You sent me a text calling me "cunt" while i was in the middle of dumping my bf.
So we're fucking tonight?
ill find time for any girl whos not afraid to grab my junk in front of 100 people
Guy passed out in the lobby with a keychain sharpie hanging from his belt loop. 1 guest came in and wrote on him, then others saw and got in line. I'm not waking him up.
would it be subtle enough if I played birthday sex on repeat while I may or may not be stripping?
Do you think it would be a good idea to mention in my admissions essay that I was the guy that streaked across the soccer field last year?
And then he proceeded to take my heartbeat, because apparently that tells him whether I was faking or not...
Currently microwaving whipped cream to make white Russians and hotboxing the kitchen while this random kid is dancing in the corner.
the only consolation to the fact that i puked in public today was that i did it down a storm drain... so at least i am a responsible public puker
Maybe I should forgo underwear.
This is a family BBQ no?
I just made my roommate a 'Hope you don't have chlamydia' cake.
Make one for john too.
I miss yesterday.Today's hangover makes yesterday's look like a little girl with blonde ringlets playing hopscotch in the street with a ginger kitten.
Nothing says I love you as your fiancé bringing back home your drunk brother from his own stag party
You're such a good friend. You send me pictures of your boobs when I'm sad. I will always appreciate that.
You ever sit back and realize our friendship is based off us ranting at each other with random animal photos thrown in
Randomize
