My landlord doesn't knock anymore when he shows the apt... So i just had sex in front of a family.
didn't stop?
naw, they were rude, not me.
..and then spiked the maple syrup at iHop
Apparently I blacked out and pissed all over the sliding glass door from the inside, as everyone watched from the outside helplessly....
Everyone was hooking up and I was just by myself rolling around in the grass at one point ... Which I am allergic to.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I don't want a baby! I JUST WANT AN ORGASM THAT ISN'T SELF INFLICTED.
Made out with a mannequin all morning in cpr training, so im ready to party
That rando I gave head to on the beach just endorsed me on LinkedIn for Oral Communication Skills. So there's that.
We watched game of thrones, broke up and I drove away blasting ridin solo while he dougied
You know, part of me wants to die and the other part of me doesn't want to live
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He asked me if I remembered touching his police badge. awk.
He made me choke him and call him Papi..so all in all a good night.
So I'm just casually at the grocery store when I remember that there's still a clove of garlic in my vagina
I almost got an A in organic chem but started hallucinating during the final so I got a C
Dude, who WASN'T thinking of motorboating her?
I am now banned from the bar... Because you got head from my ex in the woman's restroom
Randomize