think what you will about my sexuality, just get the cigarettes
the more pounds shes got the more points. bonus points awarded for specialty moves used. aka broken cowboy, tobogan, dutch oven, or brazilian fake out.
You flung your panties at that guy you liked with an accuracy that I have never seen before.
Right when I walked into the party my boyfriend stood up and yelled, "HEY TITS, GET ME A BEER!"
I need a DD tuesday morning around 9 AM
I'm scared to ask why.....
1st bikini wax. Jose Cuervo is helping me prepare.
I don't think a check that has "thx for the drugs" on the note is really gonna fly.
It was a two-sided wall so part of my body ended up in someone elses condo.
Home. Hour long discussion with mom. Very frightened. Eating a sausage. Don't remember making it. Confused.
For future reference.... When you take a beer out of a 6pack... You don't insert your phone as a substitute.
Well he was saying something about being emotionally unavailable since his dad died, but then I blew him in a tree and he shut up
Woke up in the ER with a nurse holding my tongue together inside of my mouth and a shattered jaw, the last thing I remember is opening the 151, care to fill me in?
And I just want you to know I got myself into this mess. I gotta get myself out. Plus, don't you only need one kidney?
Mom and I are both drunk and walking around the Strip. It's like the hangover but with a lot more bathroom breaks.
What did we do last night and why in the fuck were there carrots in my pocket?
Unfortunately the rum ran out midway through our viewing and we had to suffer in silence for the rest of it.
Randomize
