if there is a rhyme for it it must be true
The guy dancing on me has three visible teeth. WHERE ARE YOU?
all he gave me for my birthday was sperm
at least its a homemade gift
Planned Parenthood should have gift certificates.
That should be a holiday. like easter. but bulges instead of baskets
Of course, I believed he would find me irrestible...sloppy drunk, chugging from a bottle of chardonnay, and completely naked because those kids stole my clothes as I was swimming on their private beach
well when mom kept referring to my "black hole of a vagina" and how i devoured all the nuts at the party like i was a pro, i figured my stay was up.
The only way to make beer can wizard staffs any better is to sew your own wizards robe and hat to go along with it. welcome to tuesday nights at my new apartment
So I vote that we skip the bowling and just go straight to destroying our livers.
I like literally had a visual image of his penis going into your soul
She licked my face when I was on the phone with a customer and I just laughed. Im not sure if thats good or bad
He literally took a shit in my bathroom and then broke up with me.
What type of condoms do you get ? Oh and do you want a slurpee while I'm here
you know you're doing something right when your drug dealer insists on hugging you before you leave.
Watching a guy pay his tab with a check. Jesus dude...
Randomize
