erin looks like she hung out with the sham wow guy last night. she's got the beat up hooker look goin' on
Im like a co-bf. he pays for her birthday and christmas, but i get all the action.
They peed on our pledges last night... i dont know if i should put an lol at the end of that or not
repeat this after me. period at the beach is better than baby at the beach. breathe. and: period at the beach is better than baby at the beach.
She just ended a sentence with "and he doesn't even mind my herpes..."
Should I mail that cop his nightstick or just throw it away?
He said last night that he'd never had such a great conversation and such a great handjob at the same time.
I hurt so much. Not in the emotional way, but in the I went to dive bars sorta way.
She needs more friends. Or a second therapist.
i love how you just walk into that dealer's house every time without knocking, yet you don't even know his name
Explaining that I bought them at a strip club gift shop with my friend didnt make the furry handcuffs seem less weird
I'm doing an Uber ride of shame in a red, white and blue bikini top and America shorts. Good for me.
Were you the one who yelled "FOR GLORYHOLE!" then punched a hole through my door?
I just want you to know that i deffinately saw the baby clothes, and didn't freak out and still had sex with him. I'm going to hell.
The coke machine at work is laughing at me. Literally. I just heard laughter from the coke machine
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