Ugh I just know that when I take off his pants his underwear will have Megan's Law written all over them.
Update: no underwear. Greeeeen light.
So you honestly dont remember putting honey in your bong? You kept talking about how you wanted to become a bee and fly
she made my bed before she left. i think i'm gonna keep banging her to get the housework done
Ive seen teh same guy pissing in the corner. Twice. Its eally weird. My frieds gonna do th funnel. Im so excited for her! Love, cori. Cuz its lik a diary.
Last time I get high to write a paper the night before it's due. "Tiny Wings and sexuality" is not an acceptable topic to for a paper. Class in 30 minutes. I'm fucked...
My boss just sent an employee on an hour long paid break to pick up weed for our 'staff meeting' tomorrow morning.
for the record, you never really realize how drunk you still are until you get on rollerskates...
I feel that my cleavage set an unattainably high bar for 2013.
A surplus of mistakes were made and I don't know what 89% of them were.
I've been sleeping with the same person for about two months now, I think I know a little bit about stability and commitment.
For whatever reason, whenever she's drunk off Crown, all she wants to do is jerk me off with her feet.
We didn't have a place to have sex. So we timed the automatic car wash & spent $9 for 3 minutes and 45 secs of car sex.
I’m at that point in my trip where I’m kinda hot, kinda cold and I have to remember to breathe.
You kept licking me last night.... and said I tasted like jello. Next time, lay off the jello shots, okay?
Hey I'm trying to get back with my ex I'mm done doing whatever we were doing I hope things workout for you
Weird flex but ok.
Randomize
