I painted my nails silver
And what are the implications of that?
Is there supposed to be a msg in that? Just thought ud like to know it looks like I fingerbanged an alien
Haha na a cat just ran under your car. Howd that happen?
Probably a woman cat. Doesnt think things through
i fell asleep last night with fifteen animal crackers in my mouth. rock bottom dude.
My professor is talking about sperm and all I can think about is my mouth
u girls! girls! girls! have fun please don't hook up w/ a roadie! Love, mom
i'll get you drunk even if i have to inject alcohol into your arm through an IV
you're the only one i would trust to do that
Imma do me. And by that, I mean I'm going to walk across campus still drunk at 9am on a Tuesday.
I would have been very attracted to her had she not been reading me my Miranda Rights
somebody should make me the poster child for not drinking everclear..
Let's just say his oral game was lacking. Hell, lacking is too nice of a word to describe it.
You sat on me. Like I was a toilet. While I was on the toilet. You peed a little.
I fear our relationship is coming to an end. Last night I felt the need to bloody apologise for waking him up with a blow job.
He kept telling me my vagina was a pleasure cave... I ended up just taking it as a complimetn
I managed to break 3 nails and loose my stockings, but I made 87 dollars at the strip club. I asked where I could find an application on the way out.
someone is getting fuckign RAWDOGGED on this campus as we speak and it makes me FURIOUS
Randomize