Buhtt sex?
she refused to get out of the dog cage till we sang "be our guest" to her.
I'm pretty sure he's lost all respect for me. it probably happened somewhere around the time i had officially slept with every single one of his friends..
HE COULDN'T FIND IT! WHAT KIND OF QUARTERBACK CAN'T FIND IT?!
More likely there's a very shell-shocked cat wandering around somewhere, covered in potato peelings
I totally just potholed and almost crashed while trying to lick salsa off my boob.
He practically cut off his thumb and she offered him a tampon to stop the bleeding
Fuck underwear. Let's get stoned and eat ravioli.
Hardest I think I've ever had to work for a shack. Whatevs. Still gonna get my way though. I'll start respecting myself on Monday
Did you blackout Saturday before or after we had sex in a random snow bank?
I didn't want to but I was drunk in a Disney bathroom with her and had a weak moment.
I curse you to think about Guy Fieri whenever you have sex with your lady.
i was asked to be gay of honor by three different girls and NONE of the groomsmen at any of the weddings is open to experimenting. i mean whats the point then.
Took my nervous poop earlier then expected it's gonna be a good day
So the makeout sesh? Not so great. His stubble rubbed my face raw, he tried to push me towards auto-erotic asphyxiation, and he licked my forehead. Twice.
Randomize
