They use the phrase "final warning" so often the words have lost all meaning.
His stupid grin looks like he's mid-ejaculation
soooo.. i guess the cop said he'd drop the charges if i go to some AA meetings and i said fuck AA. not one of my better choices.
My mom said she was relieved to see that I'd gained some weight bc she's "always worried" that I might have AIDS.
Can we please just celebrate being alive this far into the school year and just get drunk?
I will probably be peed on at some point today.
I woke up with flowers, a tiara & pasta salad in my bed. Tequila makes me act like a fat Disney princess
Never go drinking with anime club. End of story.
I don't want to be "that guy" but I may have accidentally sent a dick pic to your mom
Fuck baseball, getting drunk and playing with kittens is the REAL national pasttime
It's a mix of hot dirty sex and week old bong water
Don't tell me you're on acid again
I just opened a beer with a child's toy at a 5 year olds birthday....can you look up the next AA meeting?!!
You invited these random guys into your apartment that you met in the hallway...& then you started screaming at them to get out cause you didn't know who they were.
Never in my life did I expect to see Eric's mom in a cheerleader outfit along with other women
Randomize
