too bad you live with your parents still
every time you feel disappointed with the red wings take a shot
so... thinking about masturbating finally
taking the losers way out I see
the people of mcdonalds are all starring at me & this dude like they know we just slept together
She's holding my hand. I'm going to kill myself.
I woke up in my girlfriends bed with another guy laying next to me. wtf.
okay I may or may not have wrapped my body pillow up in your t-shirt and sprayed it with your axe and am now spooning with it.
again? I'm starting to get a little creeped out now.
they were fucking between cars in the parking lot and everyone was cheering at them.
Alosmot hir two of of mt mailanoxwa
Oh Jesus.
Come over, we're having a tea party. And by a tea party I mean we're drinking whiskey from tea cups.
I don't believe in coincidence. I believe in the stars aligning perfectly to sodomise me in public. Who ever said I was cynical?
The other guys kept waking up so I hid... Like, dick in mouth, hiding in his sleeping bag
Right, try not to commit a felony that costs more than 4 dollars cause that's all I have in my bail jar.
Can I just go naked and covered in glitter?
Pro: 2020 made it easier to hook up with strippers
Con: explaining to Kari why there’s always strippers at our house
Pro: there’s always strippers at our house
Randomize
