Fuck 8am classes
Dear Jesus I'm gonna throw up through my eyes
ATMs should seriously have built in breathalysers, I would save so much money.
Too long to explain. Basically I started an electircal fire. No one was hurt except for a box of cereal near the outlet.
he swears he got herpes from a bowl of soup
I may be new to bar life, but full on grabbing my vag shouldn't happen...anywhere.
I'm getting to the point of going up to a guy and saying "Hi I'm maggie and i can put my foot behind my head"... That desperate.
It's like a squid of pain has attached to my head and it spreading it's whorey tentacles all over.
And I can say one thing, I look pretty good in high wasted pants. I don't know if that helps. But I do. God I'm high.
You know what, don't say anything. You all made fun on me for saying I would fuck him junior year when he taught us algebra and six years later, HERE I AM.
I got into a fight with the dude who fell asleep on my couch bc he wouldn't wake up but managed to get a lunch date set for thurs with another guy by the time he finally left. So how's your day so far?
Seriously, it's 5am. STOP CREEPIN and START SLEEPIN!
Then again I went over his house after not hanging out since kindergarten and tried to fuck him so maybe I'm partially to blame here
Fuck you, dude, I'm not sharing my weed anymore if you're going for the Panthers.
THERE ARE LEGITLY 4 SEPARATE BITE MARKS ON MY DICK. WHAT. THE. FUCK.
Legitimately*
Go fuck yourself
She was blowing air into green onions and tying knots in them to make "balloons"
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