maybe after you take off her top her face will be hotter
i called her out for picking her nose in public and he still wonders why i don't like her!
we've coined the Sunday morning ritual of taking out our puke-filled trash cans as The Trash Of Shame
His dick is longer than my foot and I'm a size 9. I'm literally kicking myself in the vagina
And there was a legally blind kid in a ref costume doing surprisingly well at beer pong who was passing out business cards
Whatever dude, just dont tell her your first impression was she looked like your cousin. no judgement here. just sayin.
Don't worry, I could have been accepted their by waving my dick at the admissions building.
I just watched some guy take a shot of jack Daniels, chase it with a shot of ciroc & then violently rip his pants off. You have to come here.
It feels like the devil is humping my brain with his razor sharp erection.
I forgot to lock the bathroom door. He walked in, saw me on the toliet, nodded, and walked back out.
Sorry for drunkely attacking your best friend with a bow and arrow then loudly crying myself to sleep....PMS?
Eating pizza in the bath tub while watching a romantic comedy alone. I reached a new level of single.
It was like a baby arm holding another baby arm holding an apple grove. Fuckin huge!
And then there was cum in my hair and he was making beans.
Saddle up bitches, we're going to an orgy.
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