I want to fuck you with a popsicle till it melts then eat it out of you
Really.
let's put it this way: i'm gonna stop drinking and get a gym membership. she's that hot
What's the point of having 3 fuck buddies when their periods all seem to sync up
just saw someone whip out a flask during lecture... I think I found a study partner
You just kept yelling at the cabby "I own this cab" and insisted on smoking with all the windows up
We woke up under the ping pong table holding hands.
He came in both my eyes, then refused to give me a towel unless I found him by playing Marco Polo
I only put bad things in my body...jack, caffeine, chocolate, pills, and rich's cock. It's like being holistic but exactly opposite
I began mixing captain Morgan and jack daniels and called it captain jack sparrow. I puked. a lot.
at least I have the sex noises of his roommate to entertain me while I wait for him to wake up
I'm wearing too many socks to be ok with this.
Shouting "one vagina to rule them all" was probably not the best way to meet our best mates fiance
First day back to class and I have already pulled out the hard liquor
in the future we should consider sippy cups so we can drink and passout accordingly
I can't imagine a friend I would rather lose my virginity to in a threesome.
Randomize
